Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
