I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
