he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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