he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
