I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize