my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
