I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
