Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
