You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
