if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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