so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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