they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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