i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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