am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
