So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
