yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
