next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
only if we run a train.
done.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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