HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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