yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
