I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize