Pappa wants mamma naked
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
