She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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