i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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