I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
