handjob tips. give me some.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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