when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
