I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
