This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
