Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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