My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
