Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
