chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
