Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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