Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize