It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
