Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
