if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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