I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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