No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
