Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
