Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
