the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
