why didn't you poke me back
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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