my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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