I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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