Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize