I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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