the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
