we made out on top of his cat.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
