PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize