Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
