We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
