Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
