'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize