saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
