Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
