She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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