I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
