take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
