Yo dont text me then not text me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
