Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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