I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
