So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
