Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize