Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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