I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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