Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
