yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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