Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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