I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
