I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
