Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
