pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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