in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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