this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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